Well, I got some useful feedback on my first draft from the NeoGAF creative writing community, and tried putting it into action in the second draft. If you have time, here is the most recent (final?) version of what I ended up calling "A Housemage Back Home." It's around 2,400 words. This is also the version I just submitted to the most recent NeoGAF Creativing Writing Challenge. The theme for the challenge is utopia. I think I hit on it substantially enough.
On a couple of random notes, I've been listening to and reading some 80s fantasy for motivation. I've mentioned before that I enjoyed an R.A. Salvatore short story which was include in Philip Athans' Guide to Writing Fantasy and Science Fiction, so I decided to pick up one of his old books, and ended up getting Starless Night, which is part of the Forgotten Realms world. It was two bucks at a used book store, and I wanted to get rid of some change. I'm also randomly reading pages from Dragon Wing, and re-listening to the audio book of Dragons of Autumn Twilight, both of which are written by Margaret Weiss and Tracy Hickman. I'm trying to get a feel for pacing and description, and these are written at a level that I feel I should be able to achieve with dedicated practice, and I'd be over the moon to do so. It's good to have targets and inspiration.
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The Tale of Lady Midday (words: 568)
Lady Midday loved the smell of children in spring. She delighted in their honeysuckle hair, jasmine-imbued coveralls, and the hint of homema...

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Lady Midday loved the smell of children in spring. She delighted in their honeysuckle hair, jasmine-imbued coveralls, and the hint of homema...
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The goal is to keep writing. To keep your fingers on the keyboard, or gripping the pen or pencil and pressing it down onto the page. The lon...
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Soothe the soul who's weary Stumbling from the moment of sun's call No commands could hear he By night, steps turned to a beaten cra...
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