Tuesday, May 25, 2021

Fighting for the Life I Want

Currently, I'm sitting up in bed with my laptop in front of me as a gentle rain falls outside my open window. There's a soothing breeze coming into the room, and there's even the occasional sound of birdsong. Earlier on, I taught a couple of classes from the comfort of this very same room, had a coffee from my own kitchen, and answered some emails.

I don't want to give this up.

I've been working from home since losing my office job back in March 2020. The pandemic has had a massive negative impact on numerous areas of everyone's lives, but I can say that notwithstanding the bouts of depression, the stress, and the financial anxiety, it has also been the catalyst for the professional life I am currently living. 

When the pandemic hit, I made several professional decisions: To finish writing the English resource book I had been putting off forever, to launch a website, and to start my own private English training business. I am happy to say that I managed to accomplish all three of those goals by September 2020. While it sounds easy when it's written like that, it took a lot of work and emotional energy, and it continues to require a constant and consistent effort.

There are times when I miss socializing with co-workers and talking with people face-to-face. There are times when I think that maybe I'll go back to working for a school at some point in the future to get back that face-to-face interaction and to get myself back into a physical classroom. But then there are times like these, when I am calm, having finished my work, and I am chipping away on other parts of my business from the comfort of my bedroom office. And getting to do it in shorts and a t-shirt while listening to whatever music I'm in the mood for at the time.

So I go back to my original point: I don't want to give this up. I really do love this lifestyle and having the ability to set my own hours and create this thing that I'm building brick by brick with my own hands. It's incredibly satisfying and freeing, while at the same time requiring a lot more of me. Because if I don't make enough money next month because I didn't feel like marketing myself or because I didn't push myself hard enough to write my next English resource book, I have only myself to blame. Therefore, I will keep pushing myself to keep this life going and to keep it growing. 

Finally, this lifestyle has given me the room to get back to writing fiction and to put my hands to the work I want to do most. Working in an office won't give me this, which is why I'm dedicated to fighting tooth and nail so that I can keep doing this on my own terms. In the end, I see this as a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to create the life I want, and I simply can't afford to screw it up. I refuse to. 

(I realize how fortunate I am to even have this chance while so many others don't. I don't share anything on social media about how "comfortable" my work life currently is because I don't want to feel like I'm needlessly "showing off" my good fortune when so many are struggling. I even questioned making this post, but I feel most of my friends and family probably won't read it, so I feel much safer putting it up for everyone to see, especially since I won't be sharing it directly on any platform.) 

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